Robb Cairns

PATRON SAINTS

Pope Francis announces new Saints

beltmakers- St. Suspendus

Candlemakers- St. Waxus

Backyard grills- st. litum

Coffee houses- St. folgers

custom agents- st. friskem

firefighters- st. blaze

fishermen- st. ketchum

funeral direddtors- st. barium

laundry workers- st. cleanum of tide

lumberjacks- st. tim burr

locksmiths- st. keyin

puzzles- st. rubik

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FISH WORLD VACATION

A WHALE OF A GOOD TIME

HELLO, FRIENDS!
So, I had two weeks vacation coming so I thought we’d spend it at FISH WORLD!
What a great place—- to see everything here you really need two weeks!
Our favorite part was the observation deck inside the mouth of a Giant Fish— What a thrill!
Also, the giant Sunfish exhibit and the Giant “Tuna in a Can” exhibit. Well, you can bet it made me hungry enough to swim right over to the Tuna Hut for some lunch.
Holy Mackerel— I floundered around for about twenty minutes try to decide what kind of fish for lunch. Finally, Marlin the owner, suggested I go with the fried cod just for the halibut. So, I ordered a Piranha Colada as well.
Now, I don’t want to Carp, but after eating that meal, I needed a Sturgeon— my stomach hurt so bad. In addition, I had a terrible Haddock. I really felt I was in a pickerel-
So, I can’t recommend the food in this place but I am totally hooked on the different Fish-themed exhibits and the workers there fishing for compliments.
So, we exited the parking avoiding a lot of sting-rays and we’ll be taking the turnpike on porpoise.

See you soon!

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Postcard to a Cat Lover

How are you Cats doing? We just finished an engagement in the Catskills playing in a Cat House.

It was the Cat’s Meow! We would Catapult ourselves on stage every night and begin Caterwauling our new hit song, “I Cat Stop Loving You” and “Cat You Hear My Heartbeat”.

When we began, the crowd was mildly Catatonic but we became the Catalyst to get them on their feet and dancing the night away. They began ordering Catnip like it was going out of style!

After the show, we had Catfish and Caterpillars with plenty of Catsup. Then, we would usually take a Catnap or read— “Catcher in the Rye” or the Baltimore Catechism.

One of the Cats in the band had a problem seeing his music one night. You guessed it—- Cataracts! The eye doctor said it was no Catastrophe. The hospital checked his Catgut and put a Catheter on him just in case.

Our next gig is in Catalina. So, we’ll drive the Catty down there and probably rent a Catamaran for a day. It will be a great Catharsis! (provided there’s no Cataclysm—

Meanwhile, keep receiving the Catalogs we sent you in all Categories!

Hope life’s a Catwalk for ya—-

The Rock Cats

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THE GREAT POETS- LIMERICKS by ROBB CAIRNS

PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY:
There once was a poet named Shelley Who had a rather large belly
He’d eat like a glutton
On pork chops and mutton
And then he’d head off to a deli!

JOHN KEATS:
There once was a poet named Keats Who, at night would soil his sheets He drank lots of beer
Raised his glass in a cheer
And that was the extent of his feats.

EDWARD LEAR:
There once was a poet named Lear
Whom friends often thought was quite queer He sang in his britches
Had no time for bitches
But loved when the young boys came near.

JOHN DONNE:
There once was a poet named Donne Who didn’t know the meaning of fun He’d squint thru this glasses
And make smelly gassesAnd rudely, stick out this tongue!

OSCAR WILDE:
There once was a poet named Wilde Whose hair was always so styled
He sure looked the dandy
And acted so randy
And left all the women so riled!

WALT WHITMAN:
There once was a poet named Whitman Who, in ladies circles, was a “Tit-man” He’d looked down their bra
And guess what he saw
A beautiful boob— No shit-man!

PRINCE OF BULGARIA:
There once was a prince from Bulgaria Who avoided a case of malaria
He sneezed thru his ear
And coughed out his rear
And left us all in hysteria!

Post Pandemic

I'm optimistic that with the new Covid-19 vaccine coming, our daily lives will get back to normal..

Hopefully, We will no longer be following the daily death count like baseball scores and our front line Hospital workers can continue to do their jobs without the risk of infecting their families and themselves.
Restaurants will be able to re-open for inside dining at full capacity, People can visit their loved ones in assisted-care living, Friends can visit one another again in person and children can be taught in classrooms by in-person teachers (not on zoom)!

this nine-month epidemic made everyone slow down and definitely gave us more "family time" with our own households.

We found time to learn new things, focus on what is important in life and appreciate our extended family and friends.

I think we all gained an appreciation for small business owners, healthcare workers, teachers, delivery people etc. and how they had to deal with providing goods and services during this crisis.

Maybe it will make us all more patient and understanding and appreciative in the future.

And that could be a positive outcome of the Corona Virus Pandemic.

What happened to Comedy Duos?

I was thinking the other day (yes, sometimes I DO that)....

And I was remembering the great comedy acts of the past- Laurel & Hardy, Rowan & Martin, Martin & Lewis, Hope & Crosby, Cheech & Chong, Burns & Allen, Homer & Jethro, Marx Bros., McKenzie Brothers, Penn & Teller, Smothers Brothers, Stiller & Meara, Three Stooges, Wayne & Shuster, Firesign Theatre, Monty Python and who can forget Sacco & Vencetti?

Now, it seems that all the comedians are Solo. Maybe, like the Music scene, the comedy clubs can't…

Where Did Summer Go?

Can't believe that Summer's almost over! We had one of the best summers weatherwise ever but it still blew by- Also, one of the hottest on record- which adds to the global warming theory What a fun summer of music; got to play a lot of new gigs and as always sit in and jam with some amazing fellow musicians. Also, got to meet many new friends who appreciate music and for that I am always grateful- Now, if we can have a real Michigan Fall that would make the year back here all the better. Hope it…